(Unconsciously) Waiting For Permission? Write Your Own Permission Slips!

We do it all the time without realizing it.
We wait.

We wait to speak up until someone else shares first.
We wait to start dancing until a few people finally get on the dance floor.
We wait to rest until someone else admits they’re tired.
We wait to launch something we care about until someone else validates that it’s a good idea.

And half the time, we don’t even know we’re waiting.

A colleague once sent me a popular leadership video — the one where a single person starts dancing at a music festival while a hillside of people sit quietly on their blankets. It’s usually shared to illustrate bold leadership or the importance of the “first follower” in creating a movement. My colleague had shared it for a slightly different reason.

In a meeting with several coaches, we had explored the idea that people often wait for permission (in various forms) without any awareness. Watching the video through that lens, the dynamic was so clear — so many people obviously wanted to dance but held back until others finally stood up and started moving with abandon. Within minutes, dozens were dancing — all because someone else went first.

We all do this. Even in tiny, sometimes even funny ways.

I once dated someone who — and this is true — waited to sip the last bit of soup from his bowl until I sipped mine. I playfully asked him if he was waiting for me to do it first. He admitted that yes, he was waiting for “permission”, and we had a good laugh.

And sometimes we do this in much more significant ways — very often unconsciously.

A client of mine recently became aware that she’d been saying yes to things she didn’t have capacity for — extra work, last-minute requests, even small personal favors — simply because she didn’t feel she had “permission” to say no. She kept waiting for someone else to tell her it was okay to honor her own limits or put herself first. On the surface it looked like being helpful and valuable; underneath, it was old conditioning quietly running the show and encouraging her to abandon her own needs, desires, and well-being.

The same pattern shows up in bigger decisions too. I’ve worked with entrepreneurs who delay making important choices — choosing their niche, raising their rates, launching an offer, even stepping fully into their business — not because they’re confused, but because they’re unconsciously waiting for someone else to validate their direction. They look outward for a signal that it’s safe to move, despite their own intuition nudging them forward all along.

So, here’s the key question:
Where in your life are you waiting for someone else to go first or give you permission?

Because waiting doesn’t just slow us down. It disconnects us from our own inner wisdom.

So much of our hesitation comes from old conditioning:

- What will other people think?
- Is this “appropriate”?
- Is this the right time?
- Will I look silly?
- Will someone disapprove?

We tell ourselves we’re being thoughtful or polite, but often… it’s just fear wearing what feels like a reasonable disguise.

The inner Judge (“don’t look silly”), the Pleaser (“make everyone happy”), and the Perfectionist (“wait until it’s perfect”) parts of us often team up to keep us small.

Your Inner Sage — your authentic, wiser self — doesn’t need permission.

Your Sage doesn’t wait for green lights.
It leads from internal alignment.

It knows:

🌟 “I choose this because it’s true to me.”
🌟 “I act because it matters.”
🌟 “I rest because I need rest.”
🌟 “I express because something inside wants to breathe.”

Inner permission always supersedes external approval.

I invite you to pause for just a moment and ask yourself:

🤔 Where am I waiting for someone else to go first or give me permission?
🤔 What impulse keeps nudging me, but I haven’t given myself permission to follow it?
🤔 Whose rules or expectations am I still unconsciously obeying?
🤔 What would I do differently if no one was watching?
🤔 What might open up if I stopped waiting?

These questions alone often reveal the exact place you’re ready to grow.

It’s time to write your own “Permission Slips”. Take a moment to jot down a few statements that begin with:

📝 I give myself permission to…
📝 I no longer need approval to…
📝 I allow myself to…

They don’t need to be big. In fact, the smaller and more specific, the better.

Your life expands every time you let your authentic self take the lead — even in tiny ways.

The truth is:

Most of the permission we’re waiting for…
we were meant to give ourselves all along.

So truly — what are you waiting for?